Fishing For Answers

After a dismal game in San Francisco and six games into the 2010 season the fans and media are starting to smell rotten fish carcasses. Below in no particular order are players that are floating belly up at the surface.

Chris Johnson – He’s also been filleted and barbequed.
Tyvon Branch – Filleted and grilled
Stanford Routt – Filleted and baked
Trevor Scott – Tail has been chopped off.
Tommy Kelly – Slimmed down, but just as bad at swimming.
Jason Campbell – Cheapest fish on the fish counter, tastes funny.
Mario Henderson – Fins malfunctioned.
Cooper Carlisle – Pet fish of Tom Cable, but it died and he can’t bring himself to remove it from the tank.
Langston Walker – Only swims upside down.
Darrius Heyward-Bey – Torpedo! Wait, it missed the boat.
Louis Murphy – Discount fish, marked down because it is sometimes good and sometimes not so good.
Johnnie Lee-Higgins – A fisherman hit him on the head with a bat and he hasn’t been the same since.

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Twitter

  • Agents love the word "guarantee" because it makes them seem better than they actually are.
    about 1 hour ago
  • @FtblSickness I like nasty players, but he also has to be able to stay on the field.
    about 1 hour ago
  • Not all guarantees are the same. Some are injury only. Some are guaranteed base salaries. Many have delayed triggers, so they are a lie.
    about 1 hour ago
  • $35 million guaranteed for Demaryius? Broncos don't have to cave to that. http://t.co/n8eEPwGwkX
    about 1 hour ago
  • Tag is cheaper. MT @TroyRenck: @MikeKlis' number of $30Mguarantee for Demaryius is lower than my prediction. I believe will take $35M
    about 1 hour ago